I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
“What are you in here for then?”
“Arson and murder. What about you, kid?”
“The Glee cover of Teenage Dream.”
Australian cast of The Lion King sings on a plane. Because actors are nerds no matter where they are.
Are tears what you wanted because that was fucking beautiful.